Republicans Sign Pledge Not to Abolish Police

Texas Republican lawmakers gathered on Friday to sign a pledge to support keeping police around, a position they’ve always supported. The event also served to demonstrate to voters that Republicans oppose what they’ve always opposed. The move comes at a time when election campaigning is in full swing and Republican politicians emerge from underneath their rocks to publicly say things voters like, an event that takes place for a short time every two years.

Standing behind a 150-foot golden statue of Martin Luther King Jr., GOP lawmakers signed a pledge to believe in something, while also reiterating their opposition to things the media says they’re allowed to oppose in the current year. While this balancing act can prove difficult at times, officials say its worth it.

One lawmaker described the challenge. “Basically what I do is keep my ear to the ground. I see what journalists are saying in the New York Times and Washington Post and make sure I don’t disagree with anything they say publicly. You have to be savvy. If you notice Republicans elsewhere are saying things like ‘we shouldn’t defund the police’ then you check the news, see what other journalists are saying about it. If they’re not getting smeared by the media, you know that’s a good issue to highlight in your own campaign.”

Campaign managers for Republicans have an especially hard time navigating this environment. Keeping abreast with currently approved media narratives while also ensuring their candidates stay close to only the approved talking points is a challenge. One strategist described how he manages the balance, “We have what we call the Mandela Effect. What this is, is that for every 2 right wing positions we talk about or post about, we issue one statement or post praising left wing figures like Nelson Mandela, MLK, people like that.”

The seesaw strategy of signing pledges and denouncing things took an unusual turn on Friday when Republicans gathered to sign a pledge that was both a pledge and a denouncement of an issue that only Democrats support. Current Revolt’s political analyst, Slippy Toad, says that while these occasions are rare they can sometimes happen when the corporate media leads Republican officials “like cattle” into talking about nonsense, kook, fringe issues. ”Abolishing police is a lunatic idea that nobody had even heard of 5 seconds ago, let alone supported. This gives Republicans an opportunity to take a meaningless stand for which they will suffer no social consequences. Strongly opposing this fake issue created entirely by the left wing media is what Republicans consider their electoral bread and butter,” Mr. Toad said. “Talking about your own ideas and vision is too much work for these guys.”

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The media-created issue of abolishing police along with the media-created opposition also helps distract voters from real issues, like everybody losing their rights and having their lives destroyed by a media-created virus hysteria and the government’s response. Observers note an added benefit to this situation is that Republican voters are tricked into supporting the very same police that lawmakers are setting up to be the enforcers of the new “Virus Tyranny” system that’s being rolled out to oppress them.

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