Abbott Signs Mandatory E-Verify Law!… for Sex Workers

Science has definitively proven two things — time is a flat circle, and the 87th legislative session is one eternal screw job.

Governor Greg Abbott signed the Stripper Protection Plan into law on Monday which guarantees that American women will be given an equal chance at exploitation by requiring “sex and love parlors” to participate in e-verify, a federal program which compels the absolute bare minimum requirements that businesses verify their employees aren’t illegal aliens.

This was brought to you by none other than Republican Jeff Leach.

The claim here is that this will curb “human trafficking” despite the border being wide open and our very own government doing the human trafficking. Aliens are brought into the country by the Mexican cartels and then passed off to US government agents who roll out the red carpet.

The law applies to "sexually oriented businesses" which means a “sex parlor, nude studio, modeling studio, love parlor, adult bookstore, adult movie theater, adult video arcade, adult movie arcade, adult video store, adult motel, or other commercial enterprise the primary business of which is the offering of a service or the selling, renting, or exhibiting of devices or any other items intended to provide sexual stimulation or sexual gratification to the customer.”

The law also increases the age requirement for employees in these sexy establishments by redefining “child” within this section of employment law from anyone under 18 to anyone under 21.

This law is like a cartoonish caricature of the twisted morality the left projects onto Republicans.

Jeff Leach’s vision of a Texas strip club

I don’t see anything in this law about banning 18 year olds from being on Only Fans, so this law is insane and pointless from every angle. A quintessential Screw Job™.

This law is like some kind of affirmative action for old strippers. Obviously being 18 has nothing to do with human trafficking.

me not caring how old Jeff Leach wants his strippers

What you have is our government once again going above and beyond to protect foreign citizens while crumbling American families endure a declining standard of living.

Once again, Republican voters are left looking like idiots, with entirely fake problems being “solved” and real problems ignored or worsened.