Screw Job Session™ Over, Lazy House Republicans Tired of Pretending to Care

The only thing that was accomplished in the 87th Legislative Session was a validation of the active vehicle safety system for the Chevrolet Corvette in front-end collisions.

House Republicans shamelessly mailed in the last few hours of the session, solidifying the Great Screw Job Session™ of 2021.

This is a very “of course” moment.

Like when you see Jeff Leach simping for a random black criminal, you say to yourself, “of course.”

The unfathomable, colossal screw-up is actually electing all these people in office to waste our time.

Julie “White Lightning” McCarty is also pissed.

These Republicans go to Austin to do one thing, spend your time and money on things that interest them personally.

Whatever little list of things you wanted Republicans to accomplish, you were better off bouncing a quarter off Brandon Creighton‘s butt into a water fountain while making a wish.

So, of course.

But the session isn’t entirely over.

Current Revolt is investigating reports from an anonymous source that, contrary to the widely-held view that Dade Phelan is working for the Democrats, he has actually been serving interdimensional entities. The leader said entities is known as “Lam.”

The hypothesis that Republicans didn’t do anything this session because they are selfish cowards who don’t care about the future is a mean thing to say. We would never say that Republicans care about corporate tax revenue more than children being sexually abused by witch doctors injecting them with hormones. No, we are not mean people here at CR.

This demonic alien theory is a much more charitable interpretation of this absurd situation.

So several questions remain — Why are aliens running the Texas House and will Living Blue claim the aliens are racist?

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