I GOT 5 ON IT: Freedom from Virus is Only $5 Away

Some say freedom comes from the US Constitution. Others say it is earned by the shedding of blood. Still others say that freedom comes from God.

The truth is, freedom comes from having $5 to buy a test to prove you don’t have the cold.

You will be forced to take this test very soon.

KHOU:

HOUSTON — A new 15-minute COVID-19 test promises to make COVID-19 testing faster, easier and cheaper. The tests will cost $5 and should be available soon.

Before rolling out the new test, experts at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston helped review the test's data and findings.

"There really hasn't been a push like this in the history of medicine as far as I'm concerned," Joe Petrosino said.

Fact Check: True.

There hasn’t ever been a push like this in the history of medicine. The push is: everyone on earth obsesses over a specific type of cold/flu virus that is not really more or less deadly than any of the others, and we make our entire society revolve around our obsession with this one virus type.

What’s funny is how our freedom was taken away by Abbott, that is, Governor Greg Abbott. And now, we are being promised we can regain some of our freedom through another Abbott, that being Abbott Labs, who are making these tests.

What’s also funny is seeing people humiliate themselves by wearing a mask, alone on the side of the road. Like the reporter in the story.

Loser

What’s not funny is the way they talk about these tests in the news story. They say basically, “the great thing is how easy they are. You can test people multiple times per week.” The tests are also connected to some kind of app (of course they are) with the stated purpose to “report” your private medical test to your school or employer.

What we need is a vaccine. A vaccine that has a lot of heavy metals in it. Much more than normal.

I was thinking maybe a vaccine with lead.