Saint Karen of Carrollton: Virus Disciple

Today for our Current Special Sunday Message, we open to the Book of Jabs chapter 9 as we study what it means to be a Covid disciple.

Abbott appears to Karen—Karen is a chosen vessel—Dr. Fauci restores Karen’s sight—Karen is vaccinated and begins her ministry—Fauci heals Briscoe Cain and raises Jeff Leach from death.

1 And Karen, yet breathing out threatenings and slaughter against the disciples of the Anti-vaxx, went unto the Department of Health whom were large with fat,

2 And desired of her vaccine passport to Carrollton, that if she found any of this way, whether they were men or women, she might bring them bound unto AT&T Stadium to get the shot.

3 And as she journeyed, ahe came near Carrollton: and suddenly there shined round about her a light from Austin:

4 And she fell to the earth, and heard a voice saying unto her, Karen, Karen, why thou persecutest me because of my lack of double mask?

5 And she said, Who art thou, Abbott? And Abbott said, I am Gregory of Austin whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the maskless pricks.

6 And she trembling and astonished said, Abbott, what wilt thou have me to do? And Gregory said unto her, Arise, and go into the city, and it shall be told thee what thou must do.

7 And the men which journeyed with her stood speechless, hearing a voice, but seeing no man.

8 And Karen arose from the earth; and when her eyes were opened, she saw no man, but wheel track marks in the dirt: and they brought her into Carrollton.

9 And she was three days without mask, and neither did social nor distance.

10 And there was a certain disciple at Carrollton, named Briscoe Cain; and to him said Abbott in a text, Briscoe. And he said, Behold, I am here, Greg.

11 And Abbott said unto him, Arise, and go into the night club which is called Gay Homo, and inquire in the House of Democrat for one called Karen, of Southlake: for, behold, she vaccinateth,

12 And hath seen in a vision a man named Briscoe coming in, and putting his hand on her, that she might receive his jab.

13 Then Cain answered, Abbott, I have heard by many of this woman, how much evil she hath done to thy people at Duncanville for lack of mask:

14 And here she hath authority from Dr. Fauci to jab all that call on thy name.

15 But Greg Abbott said unto him, Go thy way: for she is a chosen vessel unto me, to bear my name before the Covidians:

16 For I will shew her how great things she must suffer for the virus sake.

17 And Briscoe went his way, and entered into the gay bar; and putting his hands on her said, Sister Karen, Governor Abbott, even King of Texas, that appeared unto thee in the way as thou camest, hath sent me, that thou mightest receive thy vaccine, and be filled with the experimental proteins and antibodies.

18 And immediately there fell from her eyes as it had been scales: and she received sight forthwith, and arose, and was vaccinated.

19 And when she had received mask, he was strengthened. Then was Karen with the disciples which were at Carrollton.

20 And straightway she posted Covid on the facebook, that Fauci is the one true faith.

21 But all that read her facebook rants were amazed, and said; Is not this she that destroyed the anti-vaxxers in Southlake, and came hither for that intent, that she fact-check according to the teachings of Dr. Fauci?

22 But Karen increased the more in wisdom and television watching, and confounded the Jews which dwelt at North Dallas, proving that this is the very Abbott.

23 And after that many posts were posted, the Jews took counsel to kill her:

24 But their laying await was known of Karen. And they watched the gates day and night to kill her.

25 Then the Covid disciples took her by night, and let her down to the site of Gab

26 And when Karen was logged in to Gab, she was sore offended: but they were all afraid of her, and believed not that she was a Covid disciple.

27 But Phil King took her, and brought her to the Health Department, and declared unto them how she had seen Abbott rolling in the way, and that she had spoken to him, and how she had received the vaccine in the name of Abbott.

28 And she was with them coming in and going out at Duncanville.

29 And she spake boldly in the name of the Greg Abbott, and disputed against the Republicans: but they went about to slay her.

30 Which when the nurses knew, they brought her down to JPS, and sent her forth to Southlake.

31 Then had the vaccine megacenters throughout all DFW and Houston and Austin, and were vaccinated; and walking in the fear of the Wheel, and in the comfort of the Gregory Wayne, were vaccinated.

32 And it came to pass, as Tony Fauci passed throughout all quarters, he came down also to the Covidians which dwelt at Highland Park.

33 And there he found a certain man named Briscoe, which had kept his seat eight years, and was sick with the HIV.

34 And Fauci said unto him, Briscoe, though art high risk, Abbott maketh thee safe: arise, and take thy shot. And he arose immediately.

35 And all that dwelt at Highland Park and Dallas saw him, and turned to Abbott.

36 Now there was at Plano a certain Covidian named Leach, which by interpretation is called Faggot: this man was full of talking points and empty rhetoric which he did.

37 And it came to pass in those days, that he was sick, and died of Covid; whom when they had washed, they laid him in an upper chamber and laughed.

38 And forasmuch as Highland Park was nigh to Plano, and the disciples had heard that Dr. Fauci and Bill Gates were there, they sent unto them two men, desiring him that he would not delay to vaccinate them.

39 Then Fauci arose and went with them. When he was come, they brought him into the upper chamber: and all the widows stood by him weeping, and shewing the coats and garments which Faggot made, while he was with them.

40 But Fauci put them all forth, and kneeled down, and prayed; and turning him to the body said, Leach, arise. And he opened his eyes: and when she saw Fauci, he sat up.

41 And he gave him his hand, and lifted him up, and when he had called the Covidians and Democrat allies, presented him alive.

42 And it was known throughout all Plano; and many believed in Abbott.

43 And it came to pass, that he tarried many days in Plano with one Dustin the Shroom Tripper.

Now all will please sanitize your devices. Amen.